It's Never Enough

It's never enough. That sentence is stuck in my mind every single day.

There are only two of us, my mom and I. She's retired right now, and I have become the one who is responsible for this family. I work in a digital agency, not because I like it, but because I need more money. You have no idea how sad I was when I had to leave my previous company for a better offer. I used to have my dream job, but I was getting paid less than I am right now. I'm so grateful for my job, to be honest with you. After a year I have been given a good raise by my boss and now I can get my own place for me and my mom. But at the end of the day, it's never enough.

The moment I have a good salary, I have to pay for rent and all the other bills. I work longer than 9 to 5. I work so hard, but I can rarely enjoy my own money. Jealousy is a big word, but I have a bunch of friends at work, and I know I have the biggest salary if I compared it to them. But they can go to a fancy restaurant and buy some luxury brands. I can't do that. It feels tragic when you're the successful one but you feel like the poor one, even though that’s not true. I have a lot of responsibility that they don't have.

Sometimes I think, why do I have to sacrifice my dream job? Why have my needs become the least of my priorities? But do I have any other options? I don't think so.