color key — green: relationship to self; blue: mental health. contrast of light and dark correlates with bright and somber tones of voice.

The Surviving Kind

His words burn like hot ash on my skin,
She’ll come for you again.
He said, “I see them all come back,
And you’ll be alone when she sweeps in.” I watch her shadow start to approach
She slips behind my eyes,
She curves around my mind.
I’m behind the glass now,
I’m going…she’s taking.
She comes in the night.

I hear her in my bones
I feel her in my twisted joints,
She entwines herself within my spine.
I watch the light smolder in my eyes,
As she turns off all the lights.
She comes in the night.

Tears fall swiftly from my lids,
My lips tremble at her touch.
She’s in my mouth, she’s got my tongue,
Her fingers lace around my throat.
I’m almost gone…she’s finally here.
She came in the night.

Was I too bold?
And now my time is up?
I thought my belief was sincere,
I was sure I had solved the fear.

Did I leave myself open?
Did my scars outline a trail?
I know I said I could defeat her,
I branded the promise on my skin.
But she’s in my hallway, and soon
she’ll be through the door.
This time, I’m not sure
I’m worth fighting for.

She envelops me,
she is me and I am her.
Must I always breathe with her in mind?
Maybe I’m not the surviving kind.